Friday, May 29, 2009

Pregnancy dreams

Last night was a rough night for me. Daniel and I had been packing for a couple of hours, trying to finish the kitchen--which it is, finally--and went to bed exhausted. We crashed at about ten, which may not seem late but it is to an early-morning bus driver and an eight-month pregnant woman. I apparently hadn't been asleep long, though, when I jumped awake, sobbing. I tried to remember why I woke up, but all I could remember was the dream I had been having just before.
I can only recall the few major details of the dream, but essentially I was stuck in a cardboard box. And while I was trying to find a way to get out of this box I realized I could hear someone crying. And it was a scared, needy, desperate cry from a baby. There was no doubt in my mind that the crying was coming from my baby. It kept getting louder and louder, and more and more desperate. It was like something was torturing her. It was probably the most heart-wrenching sound I've ever heard. But no matter how hard I tried I could not get out of that box. I tried beating on it; I tried shaking it; I tried to find where it was taped so I could break through. I felt so helpless--I was abandoning my child, and she needed me so badly! That's when I started crying and woke up.
It was honestly the scariest dream I think I've ever had. I just layed in Daniel's arms, shaking, and sobbed for at least half an hour as he tried to get out of me what was wrong. I couldn't talk, I couldn't breath. All I could think about was the sound of that crying.
It took me several more hours to get back to sleep. I was so shaken that nothing could calm me down. You know how they say to visualize a calm, peaceful atmosphere--like a beach, or the mountains--when you're trying to relax. That's never really worked for me. What does work, however, is imagining stirring a pot; I usually visualize stirring a white sauce, with it getting thicker and thicker as it heats up. Even that old standby was useless for me last night. I was terrified that if I fell back asleep I would hear the crying again.
I realize now that I'm probably just nervous about being a mom--my due date is less than three weeks away, now--and the stress from the moving is probably getting to me as well. A stressed pregnant woman is not a good thing apparently. I still get teary-eyed when I think about that dream, and I can't help cringing.
Has anyone else ever had a dream that just stuck with them? Something that rattled them so badly they couldn't forget it? I'd appreciate any words of wisdom on how to forget about it. It just continues to linger in my mind, no matter what I do!

4 comments:

Larysa said...

I have totally had dreams that freaked me out and I couldn't shake them before. But that one sounds completely awful! I am so sorry!

Birches said...

Chalk it up to the hormones. It will start to fade. When I was pregnant with Carmen, we watched Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. When Cedric died, I started sobbing and could not stop (it was like it was my own son or something).

I think it helps to just acknowledge the dream, say, "Wow that was a very interesting reaction and situation," and then move on. It might diffuse the scariness of it.

The Hot Heifers said...

I have this reoccuring nightmare.... I tend not to dwell on it, but for the most part aliens come and kill lizzy and put her in an astronaut suit and she gets sucked into the ground and she floats around in space and the aliens are disguised as humans and they have brooklyn accents and strongly resemble the weird couple In "Men In Black" and they chase me down the hallway of our house in Turkmenistan. eventually I end up cowering in the closet where I encounter Lizzy getting sucked through the floor end then the aliens break down the door...and then I wake up...but I tend not to dwell on it.

Lizzy Meppen said...

Anna, I love you...I always wanted to try on an astronaut suit, you always have my best interest at heart...